there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
