Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
