if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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