I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
