So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
