i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
