I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
