when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize