Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
