After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Vodka?
Forever.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
