okay pat passed out under dana's car
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
