that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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