we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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