you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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