i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
