First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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