i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize