At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
