Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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