Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize