My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
