Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I love you. Go after that dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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