we have pet lesbian snakes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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