I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
