I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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