We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
