what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i believe in u and ur pee
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