It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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