The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Drake has all the answers
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
