I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
