Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
