Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
