im drinking this country out of the recession.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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