so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
