Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
