it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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