Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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