is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
