sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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