Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
