FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
