ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
