and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
