her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize