Can i not drive my cunt home
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
