He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
