i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
