I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
