4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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