At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a naked man in my car right now.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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