when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
