if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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