he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
