So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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