its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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