That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
