i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
