oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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