dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm at about main and main street
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
