I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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