your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
